Engrish

Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

*repost*

Wa piang~Like That also can a?

HEY HEY YOU YOU~~
I DON'T LIKE your Friendster...
NO WAY NO WAY...
I think YOU need a new one...

Let's try out on hamster.com perhaps?
or even better.. kawanster.com

When I first saw this...my 1st reaction was
What the FROG?

kawanster.com is the Malay version of friendster.

This is the founder of kawanster.com

No offence to the founder of kawanster.com but isn't it a bit odd of calling it kawanster.
You copy the friendster site's functions and name also copy from the friendster.
walao....but you did a great job....really...No one on earth will do great things like this.

Since there is kawanster.com, no doubt rempitster.com or gangster.com will out soon.
Just wait patiently and you can get opportunity to join these special "sters" ,friend-making site.


-Jason-

Disturbia

Sinopsis:
After his father's death, Kale Brecht becomes sullen, withdrawn, and troubled -- so much so that he finds himself under a court-ordered sentence of house arrest after a run in with the law. His mother, Julie, works night and day to support herself and her son, only to be met with indifference and lethargy. The walls of his house begin to close in on Kale. He becomes a voyeur as his interests turn outside the windows of his suburban home towards those of his neighbors, one of which Kale begins to suspect is a serial killer. But, are his suspicions merely the product of cabin fever and his overactive imagination?

Comment: It is a nice movie.Besides the hot babe, Sarah Roemer, the plot of the story
undoubtedly make the movie full of suspense.I give it a 4/5 rating :P

Cast:

Shia LaBeouf as Kale

Sarah Roemer as Ashley

Aaron Yoo as Ronnie

David Morse as Mr Turner

Director:

D.J. Caruso

Writers (WGA):

Christopher B. Landon (screenplay) and
Carl Ellsworth (screenplay) ...

Release Date:

26 July 2007 (Malaysia)

Genre:

Horror / Thriller

Tagline:

Every killer lives next door to someone

Some snapshots of the movie

So better watch it IF you haven't!

Unique University In Malaysia

Have you guys ever heard of unimap?
Of formerly known as Kukum.
If you never heard of them, you must be living under the stone.
They are famous.
They should get themselves in the Malaysia Book Of Record or even Ripleys Believe It Or Not.

They changed from this to

this!

Click these to enlarge and read it ! :)

Still didnt get me?
Read further and you will understand more.
UniMAP brings the meaning of University Malaysia Perlis.
Instead of bringing the meaning of University Malaysia Perlis ,
local residents call it University withMAP(UniMAP) because its buildings are all around in Perlis and the students have to use map in order to reach their campuses on time :)

Click the map below to see it..



One at the north...one at the south...one at the west....and one in the east....
They should be listed in Malaysia Book Of Record or even Ripleys Believe It Or Not as they are the 1st ever university that force students to use map to reach their campuses.
:P


*~Though their fee is reasonable and fair....suit those not-borning-with-a-silver-spoon-in-the-mouth students to the ground~*
All the above is just a joke.I'm not namewee and not acting as one.No offence :)

Cakap Pandai

This is a lame joke told by my teacher.Have a nice day :)

Terdapat sebuah keluarga tinggal di tepi pantai.
Pada suatu hari, bapa membawa anaknya berjalan-jalan di tepi pantai.
Anaknya yang sudah belajar di sekolah bertanya bapanya satu soalan.

"Abah, psal air pasang semasa malam dan surut semasa siang?"

Ayahnya tidak berpendidikan tinggi dan sudah pasti tidak tahu jawapannya.
Namun, dia jawab jugak soalan anaknya.

"nak, sebab masa malam, matahari tengelam ke dalam laut jadi air pasang.Pada waktu siang, matahari keluar dari laut, jadi air laut surut."

Anaknya yang masih kecil percaya segala kata-kata bapanya.

Bertahun-tahun kemudian, setelah habis menuntut ilmu di universiti, anaknya pulang ke kampung.
Seperti dulu jugak , bapanya berjalan dengan anaknya di tepi pantai.
Kali ini ialah waktu malam.

"Sejuk air laut ini." kata bapanya.

Anaknya berhasrat untuk mempermainkan bapanya lalu bertanya,

"Abah, ko kata matahari tenggelam dalam laut masa malam.psal pulak air laut sejuk?sepatutnya panas kan?"

Bapanya, dengan tidak hairan menjawab

"Astarfirullahal azim. Saya jual tanah, jual sawah, jual rumah dapat duit hantar ko belajar sampai universiti.Takkan ko tak tau





API PADAM DALAM AIR? :P



-Jason-

A Chinese Joke

This is my 1st entry in chinese, cause I kinda lazy wanna write blog today.
I will translate this as soon as possible :)

妈妈学英文(一)

一天,我正看着VCD,老妈捧了一本书进来.....

老妈:"这个I don't know,是什么意思?"

我:" '我不知道'。"

老妈:"送你上学那么多年,你怎么什么都不知道?"

我:"就是'我不知道'嘛!"

老妈:"还嘴硬!"

说完老妈给了我一巴掌。

妈妈学英文(二)

老妈:"那'I know' 是什么意思?"

我:"是'我知道' "

老妈:" 知道就快说!"

我:"就是'我知道' "

老妈:"你皮痒是不是?"

我:"就是'我知道'啊!"

老妈:"知道你还不说,不懂就不要装懂!"

老妈又给了我一巴掌.........

妈妈学英文(三)

"在问你最后一个,"老妈:"你给我翻译'I know but I don't want to tell you',是什么意思?"

我:"........."

今天她又来问我了~

老妈:"孩子啊,'I'm very annoyance,don't trouble me',是什么意思?"

我:" '我很烦,别烦我'。"

老妈:" 欠揍! 跟你妈这么说话!"

于是我又挨了一巴掌。

妈妈学英文(四)

老妈:" 'What do you say',是什么意思?"

我:" ' 你说什么?"

老妈作势要打我,

"算了,问另一句,' Look up in dictionary', 是什么意思?"

" '查字典' "

老妈:"叫我查字典?!那我干嘛问你?!"

这一回我挨了两巴.........

妈妈学英文(五)

老妈:" 'You hd better ask somebody', 什么意思啊?"

我:" ' 你最好问别人' "

" 你是我儿子我问别人干嘛?"

"啪!!"

老妈又问:" 'I hear nothing,repeat',是什么意思?"

我:" ' 我没听清楚,请再说一次' "

老妈重复:" 'I hear nothing,repeat' "

我:" '我没听清楚,请再说一次"

老妈:" ei,你最近皮在痒hor...?是的话再赏你两巴!"

"啪!啪!" 今天,我挨了三巴。

妈妈学英文(六)

" 我再问你,"

老妈:" ' Use your head,then think it over,' 又是什么意思?"

我:" '动动你的脑子,再仔细想想' "

老妈:" 兔崽子, 还敢耍我?!"

"呜~~~~"

My Encounter :)

Just now, when I was still sleeping, my phone rang....

Incoming call from withheld
(It appeared as withheld when u register your phone number to be private)

A friend of mine is using this kind of service.
Without thinking much, I answered it with bo-song-people-kacau-me-sleeping tone.

Jason : Wtf? Apa lu mau? I'm sleeping leh...Go kacau ur dear la
(Wtf? What do u wan?I' m sleeping.Go disturb your dear.)

Withheld:先生﹐你會說華語嗎﹖
(Mr, can u speak Mandarin?)

Jason : Oi,NOT FUNNY OK?You want me whack you izit? LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

Withheld:先生﹐你會說華語嗎﹖我是中國@*#*$集團的秘書。
(Mr,Can you speak Mandarin? I 'm a secretary China's @*#*^# Company.)

Jason : POLICE LAH!!!!WA AI KUN LA~~ MAI LAI LUAN WA LA!!!!
(Please la!! I WANT TO SLEEP LA! DONT DISTURV ME LA)

With that, I ended the call and continue my sleep :)
The next moment, my handphone rang again.
But, this time, it is different from the previous call.
The lady on the phone no longer gave me any chance to interrupt her and continued her cock and bull story.
Withheld:先生﹐你會說華語嗎﹖我是中國@*#*$集團的秘書。恭喜你﹗你贏得了400千美金﹗
(Mr,Can you speak Mandarin? I 'm a secretary China's @*#*^# Company.You just
won USD 400k)

Jason : 是是是....
(yes yes yes...)

Withheld:我說恭喜你﹗你贏得了400千美金﹗
(I said you just won yourself USD 400k)

WOW!!!400k..not RM is USD!... More than 1million Ringgit!!OMG

400k Usd~woooohooo

I started thinking about ways of spending those money :) $.$

A brand new PS3 for myself perhaps?
Or a mansion for my family?

Withheld:先生﹐你還在嗎﹖
(Are you there?)
Jason :是。怎﹖
(Yes.Anything?)
Withheld:恭喜你噢﹗
(Congrats)
Jason :噢﹐謝謝。真的有這樣大只
katak跳在路上meh?
(O?Thankyou.By the way, really got so lucky thing happen meh?)
Withheld:什麼﹖
(What?)
Jason :Err..我說我好幸運。。難怪有人說財神爺無所不在。
(I said I m damn lucky.God of wealth everywhere huh?)

And this time, you can even heard the song "財神到" in the phone...woo... Happy CNY :)
So, even though I fancy of having so much money, I still know that was a scam. I read KennySia.com ok?In case, you scammer out there don't know who is Kenny Sia... Here
And how kenny made fun of those idiots appeared in my sea of thought and i decided to have fun as well :)

Jason :那要怎樣拿錢﹖
(So,how can I take the money?)
Withheld﹕首先﹐告訴我你的名字
(Firstly, tell me your name)
Jason :噢﹖曹操。
(O? cao cao)
Withheld﹕什麼﹖
(What?)
Jason :曹操是我爺爺。
(I mean cao cao is my grandfather)
Withheld﹕真的嗎﹖
(Really?) <------ Still ask really... no doubt u really dumb! cao cao died so long dy..aiyoo Jason :是啊。我叫曹幾百
(Yea..My name is CaoCibai)

Withheld﹕那﹐曹幾百先生。麻煩你將你英文名字告訴我因為我們要轉帳到你戶口。
(Can you give us your name in english to make us easier to transfer money to your account)
Jason :你不是不會英語嗎﹖
(I thought you don't english?)
Withheld﹕你拼出來就好了。
(You spell it for me can already)
Jason :噢﹐C-a-o 空格C-i-b-a-i.
(O.C-a-o spacing C-i-b-a-i)
Withheld﹕是 C-a-o C-i-b-a-i 嗎﹖
(Izit C-a-o C-i-b-a-i?)
Jason :是是... 沒錯。你知道唱曹操 的林俊杰嗎﹖
(Yea..correct..Do you know the singer JJ who sing cao cao song?")
Withheld﹕知道。怎樣﹖
(Yea, why?)
Jason :沒有啦﹐其實他是我哥哥。
(nothing..he is my brother actually)
She also confused with what I said already. With cao cao as my grandfather and JJ as my bro, my background sure complicated :)
Withheld﹕林俊杰不是姓林嗎﹖
(I thought JJ's surname is lim)
Jason :沒有啦﹐ 他本來姓曹啊。
(Nola.. his actual surname is cao)
Withheld﹕是嗎﹖噢。對了﹐曹先生﹐你必需要付我們區區的RM5000因為這是手續的一部份。
(O.Really?Mr cao, you are required to pay us rm5k for the process of sending you the money)
Jason :我沒錢啊。怎麼付﹖
(I got no money.How to pay?)
Withheld﹕那我們只好把你的獎金送給別人了。
(Then we got no choice but to let other people to win your prize money)
Jason :我沒有。。我哥哥有啊。。你笨蛋啊你﹖
(I don't have.. but my bro got... you idiot izit?)
Withheld﹕那最好不過﹐400千美金是個大筆錢。。我也希望你得。
(It will be better in this case..I do hope you can get this sum of prize money)

She hope to get my rm5000 actually.. still keh si keh si... ~.~"
Jason :那好的。轉入你戶口嗎﹖
(Then ok...Transfer the money to your account?)
Withheld﹕是的。
(Yes.)
Jason :不好意思﹐我接個來電。。。你等等嘔。
(Sorry.Will you excuse me? I answer a call..Wait me k)
Withheld﹕好的。
(Ok..)

Leaving my phone on my desk with my pc speaker on with voices of drama, I went out to cinema and watch movie.
When I came back and saw my handphone call entry.. I was laughing like mad..
She waited me for almost 45 minutes...She must be thinking the voices in drama is me :P
SERVE YOU RIGHT!!!!
YOU call me YOU PAY IT!!!
Geez... instead of earning my rm5000.. you lost your money for calling me from china to malaysia...
Bravo... good job :)

How lucky our dogs are....

I was feeding my dog.
Suddenly something cross over my mind.
Since dog food only available years ago, what do stone age dog feed on?
Bones?

If owner say yes, dog will never bark saying No.

Poor dog

Now, we have various kind of dog food available in the market,
the famous 1 for now is undoubtedly the Pedigree
Ops, don't get me wrong.
Is not the Wrestler from WWE,Triple H' s Pedigree

Obviously, the pedigree I mean is not this 1 :)
Triple H sure love people to put their head on his
*tut* and smell his *tut*

The pedigree I meant is this!
How the hell does they know it is the best for dog?
They can speak to the dog?

Fulamak...Even available in different version ler.. Adult dog version?
Under 18yo dogs are not allowed to feed on this.It boost their sex activities perhaps?

And because of pedigree, our dogs become our boss :)

Ok boss!

And of course, I also came across with another brand of dog food. :)

So eat this, my dog can get all A's1 for SPM?

Because of these dog foods, owners started to pampered their dogs.

With nice container and a fake bone as toy.. how lucky our dogs are...
If you have no time to praise them,
buy them a container with words like "good dog".
They will be pleased:)
Or even let them play with the foods ..No big deal..
Rm 4.7 per packet..damm cheap

and this 1.....

You syok la...So enjoy. :(
And my money.....cham lo..haiz