Unique University In Malaysia

Have you guys ever heard of unimap?
Of formerly known as Kukum.
If you never heard of them, you must be living under the stone.
They are famous.
They should get themselves in the Malaysia Book Of Record or even Ripleys Believe It Or Not.

They changed from this to

this!

Click these to enlarge and read it ! :)

Still didnt get me?
Read further and you will understand more.
UniMAP brings the meaning of University Malaysia Perlis.
Instead of bringing the meaning of University Malaysia Perlis ,
local residents call it University withMAP(UniMAP) because its buildings are all around in Perlis and the students have to use map in order to reach their campuses on time :)

Click the map below to see it..



One at the north...one at the south...one at the west....and one in the east....
They should be listed in Malaysia Book Of Record or even Ripleys Believe It Or Not as they are the 1st ever university that force students to use map to reach their campuses.
:P


*~Though their fee is reasonable and fair....suit those not-borning-with-a-silver-spoon-in-the-mouth students to the ground~*
All the above is just a joke.I'm not namewee and not acting as one.No offence :)

Cakap Pandai

This is a lame joke told by my teacher.Have a nice day :)

Terdapat sebuah keluarga tinggal di tepi pantai.
Pada suatu hari, bapa membawa anaknya berjalan-jalan di tepi pantai.
Anaknya yang sudah belajar di sekolah bertanya bapanya satu soalan.

"Abah, psal air pasang semasa malam dan surut semasa siang?"

Ayahnya tidak berpendidikan tinggi dan sudah pasti tidak tahu jawapannya.
Namun, dia jawab jugak soalan anaknya.

"nak, sebab masa malam, matahari tengelam ke dalam laut jadi air pasang.Pada waktu siang, matahari keluar dari laut, jadi air laut surut."

Anaknya yang masih kecil percaya segala kata-kata bapanya.

Bertahun-tahun kemudian, setelah habis menuntut ilmu di universiti, anaknya pulang ke kampung.
Seperti dulu jugak , bapanya berjalan dengan anaknya di tepi pantai.
Kali ini ialah waktu malam.

"Sejuk air laut ini." kata bapanya.

Anaknya berhasrat untuk mempermainkan bapanya lalu bertanya,

"Abah, ko kata matahari tenggelam dalam laut masa malam.psal pulak air laut sejuk?sepatutnya panas kan?"

Bapanya, dengan tidak hairan menjawab

"Astarfirullahal azim. Saya jual tanah, jual sawah, jual rumah dapat duit hantar ko belajar sampai universiti.Takkan ko tak tau





API PADAM DALAM AIR? :P



-Jason-

A Chinese Joke

This is my 1st entry in chinese, cause I kinda lazy wanna write blog today.
I will translate this as soon as possible :)

妈妈学英文(一)

一天,我正看着VCD,老妈捧了一本书进来.....

老妈:"这个I don't know,是什么意思?"

我:" '我不知道'。"

老妈:"送你上学那么多年,你怎么什么都不知道?"

我:"就是'我不知道'嘛!"

老妈:"还嘴硬!"

说完老妈给了我一巴掌。

妈妈学英文(二)

老妈:"那'I know' 是什么意思?"

我:"是'我知道' "

老妈:" 知道就快说!"

我:"就是'我知道' "

老妈:"你皮痒是不是?"

我:"就是'我知道'啊!"

老妈:"知道你还不说,不懂就不要装懂!"

老妈又给了我一巴掌.........

妈妈学英文(三)

"在问你最后一个,"老妈:"你给我翻译'I know but I don't want to tell you',是什么意思?"

我:"........."

今天她又来问我了~

老妈:"孩子啊,'I'm very annoyance,don't trouble me',是什么意思?"

我:" '我很烦,别烦我'。"

老妈:" 欠揍! 跟你妈这么说话!"

于是我又挨了一巴掌。

妈妈学英文(四)

老妈:" 'What do you say',是什么意思?"

我:" ' 你说什么?"

老妈作势要打我,

"算了,问另一句,' Look up in dictionary', 是什么意思?"

" '查字典' "

老妈:"叫我查字典?!那我干嘛问你?!"

这一回我挨了两巴.........

妈妈学英文(五)

老妈:" 'You hd better ask somebody', 什么意思啊?"

我:" ' 你最好问别人' "

" 你是我儿子我问别人干嘛?"

"啪!!"

老妈又问:" 'I hear nothing,repeat',是什么意思?"

我:" ' 我没听清楚,请再说一次' "

老妈重复:" 'I hear nothing,repeat' "

我:" '我没听清楚,请再说一次"

老妈:" ei,你最近皮在痒hor...?是的话再赏你两巴!"

"啪!啪!" 今天,我挨了三巴。

妈妈学英文(六)

" 我再问你,"

老妈:" ' Use your head,then think it over,' 又是什么意思?"

我:" '动动你的脑子,再仔细想想' "

老妈:" 兔崽子, 还敢耍我?!"

"呜~~~~"

My Encounter :)

Just now, when I was still sleeping, my phone rang....

Incoming call from withheld
(It appeared as withheld when u register your phone number to be private)

A friend of mine is using this kind of service.
Without thinking much, I answered it with bo-song-people-kacau-me-sleeping tone.

Jason : Wtf? Apa lu mau? I'm sleeping leh...Go kacau ur dear la
(Wtf? What do u wan?I' m sleeping.Go disturb your dear.)

Withheld:先生﹐你會說華語嗎﹖
(Mr, can u speak Mandarin?)

Jason : Oi,NOT FUNNY OK?You want me whack you izit? LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

Withheld:先生﹐你會說華語嗎﹖我是中國@*#*$集團的秘書。
(Mr,Can you speak Mandarin? I 'm a secretary China's @*#*^# Company.)

Jason : POLICE LAH!!!!WA AI KUN LA~~ MAI LAI LUAN WA LA!!!!
(Please la!! I WANT TO SLEEP LA! DONT DISTURV ME LA)

With that, I ended the call and continue my sleep :)
The next moment, my handphone rang again.
But, this time, it is different from the previous call.
The lady on the phone no longer gave me any chance to interrupt her and continued her cock and bull story.
Withheld:先生﹐你會說華語嗎﹖我是中國@*#*$集團的秘書。恭喜你﹗你贏得了400千美金﹗
(Mr,Can you speak Mandarin? I 'm a secretary China's @*#*^# Company.You just
won USD 400k)

Jason : 是是是....
(yes yes yes...)

Withheld:我說恭喜你﹗你贏得了400千美金﹗
(I said you just won yourself USD 400k)

WOW!!!400k..not RM is USD!... More than 1million Ringgit!!OMG

400k Usd~woooohooo

I started thinking about ways of spending those money :) $.$

A brand new PS3 for myself perhaps?
Or a mansion for my family?

Withheld:先生﹐你還在嗎﹖
(Are you there?)
Jason :是。怎﹖
(Yes.Anything?)
Withheld:恭喜你噢﹗
(Congrats)
Jason :噢﹐謝謝。真的有這樣大只
katak跳在路上meh?
(O?Thankyou.By the way, really got so lucky thing happen meh?)
Withheld:什麼﹖
(What?)
Jason :Err..我說我好幸運。。難怪有人說財神爺無所不在。
(I said I m damn lucky.God of wealth everywhere huh?)

And this time, you can even heard the song "財神到" in the phone...woo... Happy CNY :)
So, even though I fancy of having so much money, I still know that was a scam. I read KennySia.com ok?In case, you scammer out there don't know who is Kenny Sia... Here
And how kenny made fun of those idiots appeared in my sea of thought and i decided to have fun as well :)

Jason :那要怎樣拿錢﹖
(So,how can I take the money?)
Withheld﹕首先﹐告訴我你的名字
(Firstly, tell me your name)
Jason :噢﹖曹操。
(O? cao cao)
Withheld﹕什麼﹖
(What?)
Jason :曹操是我爺爺。
(I mean cao cao is my grandfather)
Withheld﹕真的嗎﹖
(Really?) <------ Still ask really... no doubt u really dumb! cao cao died so long dy..aiyoo Jason :是啊。我叫曹幾百
(Yea..My name is CaoCibai)

Withheld﹕那﹐曹幾百先生。麻煩你將你英文名字告訴我因為我們要轉帳到你戶口。
(Can you give us your name in english to make us easier to transfer money to your account)
Jason :你不是不會英語嗎﹖
(I thought you don't english?)
Withheld﹕你拼出來就好了。
(You spell it for me can already)
Jason :噢﹐C-a-o 空格C-i-b-a-i.
(O.C-a-o spacing C-i-b-a-i)
Withheld﹕是 C-a-o C-i-b-a-i 嗎﹖
(Izit C-a-o C-i-b-a-i?)
Jason :是是... 沒錯。你知道唱曹操 的林俊杰嗎﹖
(Yea..correct..Do you know the singer JJ who sing cao cao song?")
Withheld﹕知道。怎樣﹖
(Yea, why?)
Jason :沒有啦﹐其實他是我哥哥。
(nothing..he is my brother actually)
She also confused with what I said already. With cao cao as my grandfather and JJ as my bro, my background sure complicated :)
Withheld﹕林俊杰不是姓林嗎﹖
(I thought JJ's surname is lim)
Jason :沒有啦﹐ 他本來姓曹啊。
(Nola.. his actual surname is cao)
Withheld﹕是嗎﹖噢。對了﹐曹先生﹐你必需要付我們區區的RM5000因為這是手續的一部份。
(O.Really?Mr cao, you are required to pay us rm5k for the process of sending you the money)
Jason :我沒錢啊。怎麼付﹖
(I got no money.How to pay?)
Withheld﹕那我們只好把你的獎金送給別人了。
(Then we got no choice but to let other people to win your prize money)
Jason :我沒有。。我哥哥有啊。。你笨蛋啊你﹖
(I don't have.. but my bro got... you idiot izit?)
Withheld﹕那最好不過﹐400千美金是個大筆錢。。我也希望你得。
(It will be better in this case..I do hope you can get this sum of prize money)

She hope to get my rm5000 actually.. still keh si keh si... ~.~"
Jason :那好的。轉入你戶口嗎﹖
(Then ok...Transfer the money to your account?)
Withheld﹕是的。
(Yes.)
Jason :不好意思﹐我接個來電。。。你等等嘔。
(Sorry.Will you excuse me? I answer a call..Wait me k)
Withheld﹕好的。
(Ok..)

Leaving my phone on my desk with my pc speaker on with voices of drama, I went out to cinema and watch movie.
When I came back and saw my handphone call entry.. I was laughing like mad..
She waited me for almost 45 minutes...She must be thinking the voices in drama is me :P
SERVE YOU RIGHT!!!!
YOU call me YOU PAY IT!!!
Geez... instead of earning my rm5000.. you lost your money for calling me from china to malaysia...
Bravo... good job :)

How lucky our dogs are....

I was feeding my dog.
Suddenly something cross over my mind.
Since dog food only available years ago, what do stone age dog feed on?
Bones?

If owner say yes, dog will never bark saying No.

Poor dog

Now, we have various kind of dog food available in the market,
the famous 1 for now is undoubtedly the Pedigree
Ops, don't get me wrong.
Is not the Wrestler from WWE,Triple H' s Pedigree

Obviously, the pedigree I mean is not this 1 :)
Triple H sure love people to put their head on his
*tut* and smell his *tut*

The pedigree I meant is this!
How the hell does they know it is the best for dog?
They can speak to the dog?

Fulamak...Even available in different version ler.. Adult dog version?
Under 18yo dogs are not allowed to feed on this.It boost their sex activities perhaps?

And because of pedigree, our dogs become our boss :)

Ok boss!

And of course, I also came across with another brand of dog food. :)

So eat this, my dog can get all A's1 for SPM?

Because of these dog foods, owners started to pampered their dogs.

With nice container and a fake bone as toy.. how lucky our dogs are...
If you have no time to praise them,
buy them a container with words like "good dog".
They will be pleased:)
Or even let them play with the foods ..No big deal..
Rm 4.7 per packet..damm cheap

and this 1.....

You syok la...So enjoy. :(
And my money.....cham lo..haiz

For The Reds' Fan

I will be sharing goals of every single liverpool match here..
You guys can download it from the link below the chatbox.
Hope you guys will like it.
If you appreciate and like the video, kindly click on the advertisements(adverlets) to support my hardwork .
Thank you :P

P.s: Do not watch it there.Just download from the link

Ways for men to answer Ladies' favourite questions

I believe most of the guys experience these!
You see, once you have a girlfriend, no matter how nice she is before you two started, eventually, she will be asking those questions that men feel annoying.

For example:
The most frequent question asked by ladies is
"If your mum and I dropped into the sea, who will you save 1st?"

Other questions that ladies might ask are:
2.Why do you love me?
3.Do I look beautiful today?
4.Do I look nicer than that girl?
(where the girl she refered to is actually look nicer or better than she is)

For the 1st question,
(a)If you answer her that you will save her 1st,

Ladies sure like us to cheat them huh?

(b)If you answer her that you will save your mum 1st,

(c) Or perhaps this is a better answer
and end up like this

For the 2nd question,
a bored question where men cant even find answer themselves.
(a)Just Feeling

(b)Just hug and kiss her and don't let her asking any further.
(c)Make her confused

(d)If answering like above still can make her satisfied, try this.
For the 3rd question,
You answer in either way also die... don't understand what I mean?
IF YES,
IF NO,
So a better way is,

JUST PRETEND to SLEEP LO :P

And girls, please give us a break cos we really love you :P

Friends And Foes

So, I'm here.
There is no one at KS/CN Chatbox, not even doldol dodo.
I guess I will be spending my time here, writing craps again. :)
A quote from my tuition teacher suddenly lead me to a topic where i dreamed of writing it ages ago.

The one closest and nearest to you is actually the one most dangerous to you.

You know what?
I really agreed with him since I had seen so much of this kind of person in my schools, not to mention who though :P
I had been living in this world for 17 years, not very long and it certainly not a short period as well.I was told and taught by teacher about the do's and the don'ts and I had seen so much of different personalities and different kind of person in term of how they treat us.Friends, those who are our companion in school/work,sharing our laughter and tears,siding us when we are in hot water or someone treating you unfair.That's friend.Foes,on the other hand , are those preventing you to do this and that,treating you badly.Those are foes.Yet, are friends really as simple as that? 17 years of living in this materialistic world, i noticed everything start with "A" is not 100% ended with "Z".You know what I mean?

Among my friends, there is 1 particular girl who is kinda fond of attention of everyone especially guys.I never know how wicked she is till she showed her true personality.Everytime she get a single assignment or task to be done and there are failures during the process, she will be pointing her fingers at other people,insisting that she done her part and she is ALWAYS right.You see,even though this kind of attitude is quite annoying,we never hate her, scold her or insult her.There is a saying there that taught us not to think of her wrongs.Let bygone be bygone.But sometimes when you tolerate with her, thinking that she will learn her lessons 1 day and turn over a new leaf, YOU ARE WRONG.
There is a saying in malay that I think I should include in this post.
"Beri paha mahu betis."

You give a dog a drumstick.

The next moment, it demands more from you.

That's what i mean.
When you tolerate with her, she tends to do more annoying stuff to you.
She's having fun with it even though she knows that it really annoyed you.
What i gonna say here is, non of us(excluding an asshole that 100% trust her) really treat her as our friend.I don't think anyone out there can believe this when i tell you what she did in the past, treating those she called friends.
This particular bitch "babe" had a friend who treat her like real sister which I will call Miss Pig.When the bitch "babe" faces problem, the one that helping her is Miss Pig.When she need transportation to tuition or school, the one sending her to the destination is Miss Pig.Yet, as Miss Pig herself is a pleasant and kind lady, 3 guys falling in love with her simultaneously,attracting attention more than that particular bitch "babe".The bitch "babe" seemed to be jealous of Miss Pig and back stabbed her.She sms her friend telling bad things about Miss Pig.Jealousy is indeed the main cause of a broken bond.Everyone of our age could no longer stand her attitude posted various kind of comments on web.She posted in her blog as reply, telling us that she didn't do that(as usual la.. she is good in acting..most of us think that she at least deserve to be in Bollywood if Hollywood reject her.) and accusing ME that I'm the 1 starting to make stories around.Just for your information, I don't fancy socialising so I don't think I'm in good term with everyone.Too bad, as luck would have it, most of our friends turned out to be supporting me than the self-claimed-good-with-everyone bitch "babe".She said I m the 1 making rumour and she said she NEVER TALK ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ANYONE BEHIND THAT PARTICULAR PERSON.Ok.Fine, I don't give a damm to such bitch "babe".Time flies, most of us no longer mention about this incident(only in public, we usually talk with each other regarding her " good deeds") .

Weeks later, we discovered something wrong about what she had claimed earlier.She told us something bad about a girl in our class(I thought she never talk something bad about someone behind them?).Then, most of my friends know that she was nothing than a poor slut actress.But,among us,there are still 2 person trusting every single bullshit came out from this bitch "babe".One is the asshole who fancy girl more than anyone else, the other one is someone i don't wish to describe and mention here because she is a friend of mine.So the dumb asshole here is a male who claimed himself good with everyone in our form.Too bad,he never knew that there are actually most of us even the one he fancy of, don't like what he is doing now.This asshole trusted every single thing came out from the bitch "babe" 's mouth even the bad thing about the girl he fancy.Idiot, that's the most effective word I can use to describe him.Actually, the bitch "babe" criticised him more than anyone else of our age.But then he never realised.Now, days ago, he told my friend who is going to participate a competiton with him to be prepared and stop make preparation in a happy-go-lucky way.He told that friend that most of us told him that that friend wasn't preparing well for the competition.You know what?Is actually the bitch "babe" that told him about every single fucking things about the competition.

Conclusion is friends that are closest to us tend to hurt and back stab us more than anyone else.
That's friends.
Foes are actually true friends make us hate them as they stopped us from doing this and that for our own sake.
Friends are actually enemy that keep dragging us to the entrance of hell :) They want us die.

How about foes?Miss Pig was once not in good term with other 2 ladies because of some problems.Now she finally notice that the 2 that she had not in good term of are actually the true friends that will never hurt her.The 2 that she had been in good term of ,back stabbed her not once but more times that she could imagine.

So, what I wanna tell reader is those treating you nice right now are not 100% true friends and those treating you badly are not 100% enemy.

You cant assume that durian with thorns are not tasty because

once you open it and you taste it, you know it is GREAT
Lemon may look nicer than durians but lemon is not as tasty as durian.

So Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover.
Check out the inner part before you make a conclusion about every single thing.

As for now, I'm kinda tired of having friends.

I rather have my doggie than good-in-acting-but-back-stabbed-you-behind friends.