Engrish

Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

*repost*

Engrish or English?

The standard of Engerish English is getting ” BETTER” and “BETTER” nowadays. I’ve been flipping through all those funny Engerish English all over the world.

Let’s see some of these i came across a while ago.

The signboard tells us “It is ancient to pack photo”.

I kinda agree with that since nowadays human being TAKE PHOTO and not packing photo.It is understandable since only ancient people pack photo.Modern people like us take photos.Hmm, nice try.

“Please Keep chair on position & Keep table cleaned after dying.Thanks for your corporation”

WOW .Those uncountable mistakes(actually is countable, i just kinda lazy to point up my little fingers and count 1, 2 ,3…..)1st, how come the “K” in every Keep in that sentence must be capital letter?The spelling of cooperation is TOO RIDICULOUS as long as it sounds the same is OK for them.Wtf? “Keep table cleaned after dying” means after you die, you must keep the table clean.Is there any resurrection stones or resurrection skills in this world?Hah!Perhaps, the restaurant got their own shaman to resurrect every single customer that eat their food and die on spot and the shaman will resurrect them just to clean up the table and kill them again after they had done the cleaning.

“Touching Wires Causes Instant Death $200 Fine“

There is no exceptional of not paying the fine for touching the wires even if you are dead.

“No Smorking”

I’m sure the signboard is telling us not to smork smoke.

“Auto Rock”

The japaneses are great in inventing weird thingy aren’t they? The door will auto rock instead of auto lock.When you close the door, the door will shake up and down , right and left automatically.What a great invention.No wonder Malaysia launched the programme called ” Pandang Ke Timur” Gambateh JAPANESES!